“Marriage is hard work, but always rewarding.”
As I think back when my grandmother told me this statement, I didn’t fully understand until my second week of marriage. My blushing bride and I were married in early January, one week honeymoon, and returned to what would be our hardest semester.
We were slapped by reality and household responsibilities that weren’t established quickly became areas of blame.
I despise dirty dishes, with all of my heart I do. In our second week together I would hint at my wife that the sink was full. Translation: You do the dishes.
I’d complain and whine, and can you guess what happened? The dishes would still pile up!
One day I read “Be lavish in praise”.
This changed on my perspective on life. It’s one of my defining moments.
I’m naturally a negative person (Nature or nurture…who knows?). When I discovered the simple idea of being positive instead of negative in all interactions, it changed who I was.
I complimented my wife when she cleaned them. It gave her the extra moral boost to wash the dishes.
And eventually (not long, because I couldn’t get away without washing dishes) my positivity enable me to clean the dishes myself! I overcame my hatred of dishes!
My wife appreciates the benefits of this positivity. Not only does it bring less stress and drama in my life, but it also enables me to take on other challenges that I thought impossible, like running daily.
Changing from positive to negative attitude in your life can lead you to a longer and healthier life!
The prestigious Mayo Clinic performed a study to observe how being optimistic vs. pessimistic might affect a patient’s life span. They found that those who were classified as pessimistic had a 19% increase risk of death.
A morbid study looked at behavioral differences optimists and pessimists in patients with different stages of lung cancer. “Patients who exhibited a [non-pessimistism] behavior survived approximately 6 months longer than patients classified as [pessimists].”
Think of one of your acquaintances, maybe at work, in your family or neighborhood, who is a true pessimist.
Are they surrounded by friends and full of joy?
Most likely not.
Would you want to be with someone who always focuses on the negative? Always nit-picking?
They suck the joy out of life!
A very interesting trial in France wanted to know if having more “social network connections” (AKA friends) would extend a person’s life.
The results are shocking.
Men with a low amount of friends were 2.7 times more likely to die than those with many friends.
Women without many friends were 1.56 times more likely to die than those with many friends.
I worked at a fast food restaurant as a teenager. I dreaded every day of work. My superior yelled at us when we were too slow making food. She never complimented us. She ordered us around like we were her slaves.
One day, a college student started her summer job with us. She changed everything at our store. She was positive in the face of negativity. She encouraged others to work quickly. She complimented us when we performed well.
I noticed that I enjoyed work! I stopped complaining about work to my parents. I asked a friend to apply and he worked with us. I started to open up at work and joke around…as if I was having fun!
When I arrived and discovered she wasn’t there, my heart sank, and time began to slow down.
Turning negative people into positive people creates a healthy environment.
Being positive anywhere makes a difference.
What are some ways you are positive at home/work?
Could you imagine being an Avenger? If you’re like me and love to imagine, just think of the adventures you would have.
OK, if you’re not and this is getting too silly for you, let’s move on.
For outsiders, The Avengers is a team of superheroes, when brought together are more powerful than when alone. Their teamwork brings synergy to their outcomes. Each member brings the others higher.
Who is a part of your inner circle?
Check out this 3 minute video from my unofficial mentor, Andy Andrews
Or check out the blog post here
bring you down?
keep you where you are?
or hold you to a higher standard?
Ask yourself these simple questions of a friend.
Does hanging out with X make me want to pursue my dreams?
Does X encourage me when I fail or feel like a failure?
Would my life be better, worse or the same without X?
If you answered “No” to some of these questions, Do Not Pass Go.
No. You never know how a person could change.
But, you can spend less time with that person. That may be a hard conversation.
I hear this phrase more and more these days. I’ve found that it’s true.
I recently started the Dojo Launch Team. It’s a private group of leaders with one purpose : to lead a successful life in all life arenas.
Many of the members are my new virtual friends. I’ve grown very fond of them. That’s because they have made my life better.
They encourage me. They give me exciting new ideas. They drive me to create something amazing.
When you surround yourself with high achievers, you rise with them.
Join leader and entrepreneur groups on Facebook or LinkedIn. Check out Dan Miller’s 48 Days community, which is full of dream-achievers. Find someone you admire and ask them out for coffee, a Skype conversation, or email. Don’t ask for anything but their time.
5 months ago, I would never have believed it.
I had a dream to start a podcast. This podcast would be something bigger than me. My goal from the beginning was to create something that would greatly benefit listeners.
I had no idea what.
I had no idea how.
BUT, I knew my why:
My soul catches on fire when I help others succeed.
My heart’s desire is to see others rise to the top.
What is success?
On this journey of discovering what success is, I’ve had a few failures, a few lessons to learn. Luckily, none that has kept me down.
I also created a goal to earn $10,000 by March 1st, 2013 because I have over $160K in debt; about 90K in college debt and about 70K for our new home.
Since I made that goal, I’ve developed numerous projects and services, and helped a lot of people along the way.
I supose this is the time to say HOW I make that money
October 2013 :
Podcast Dojo Mastermind : $222
Podcast Host : $375
Affiliate Programs : $65
Here is the story of The Leadership Dojo Launch
CHICKA -WHAT? YOU CRAZY?
Yes, maybe I am. But I am fulfilling my dream here.
My last job was a graduate professor. I organized a few career seminars for students. They were a huge success. Partially because the students did not know how to prepare for an interview or what career path to choose AND no one had taught them how.
This lead me to believe that young professionals are hungry for this kind of knowledge.
So, Scott Barlow of Happen to Your Career and I will be creating a product called “Rock Your Interview”
It will be a ~30 episode How-To prepare and rock your interview so you can get your dream JOB
Fear grips us all in it’s clutches. A leader has to shut fear up to make progress on any dream or goal
I’m writing a lot about fear lately. It’s probably because that’s what eats away at my mind.
Here is a list of common fears that plague me:
You’re a nobody. No one will listen to you
You don’t know enough about this platform and podcast business.
You’re content isn’t unique. Everyone will find you boring. You aren’t interesting
You’re an awful writer. You have to rely on your wife to edit your writing.
You’re quality of podcasts is awful. You won’t be able to build an audience
Have you ever heard these things before? Have you dealt with these fears?
Here’s how I have conquered my fears lately
1) Talk with family and friends
My wife is my number one fan. We talk on our walks about fears and the future. She is so great at identifying my fears and brushing them off like lice on hair.
) Identify them clearly
Clearly identify the fears that plague you. Once you identify them, they don’t become a foreign and terrifying monster. They become that crochety neighbor that you ignore
) Write them down
I wrote down my fears and I identified them. I recently did this and it gave me power over my fears. It placed a familiarity on the doubts.
) Discover what’s the worst thing that could happen
Most fears paralyze you from action. But think about it, what would happen if you did the thing you fear most?
Would you die?
Would you lose a close friend?
Would you lose a lot of money?
If the answer is yes, then maybe you should seek wiser counsel than this silly blogger.
But if your answer is no, then kick yourself in the rear and get working you terd!
) Keep your fear list with an action list
Write down next to your fears what action will you take when those fear pop up.
Without an action to a fear, you will likely experience the same anxiety and frustration. A plan of action allows you to overcome the fear, punch it in the face, and move on.
There are only two “primal” fears. The fear of loud noises and falling. Everything else is taught.
Punch your fears in the face today
In this episode,
Writer in the Office of Presidential Letters and Messages during the Clinton White House
Speechwriter to the Governor of California
boutique law firm in the heart of Sillicon Valley, right across the street from eBay
[Tweet ” All good businesses are personal. The best businesses are very personal – Mark Cubin @JohnCorcoran”]
I wish I started earlier
Spend more time with his son. Enjoy this time as much as you can
Bill Clinton Guide to Networking Blog Post
Give and Take –
Leave a review on iTunes! Pretty Please!
Send John a Thank You Tweet!
Dates can be extravagant
Ladies, if you’ve stopped shaving your legs, it’s time to take your man on a date.
Men, if your watching more TV than you are spending time with your spouse, it’s time for a date.
My friends often create excuses (which always are poo-poo) as to why they can’t go on a date. One of the most common reasons I hear: money.
Here are six tips to motivate you to love your spouse with a date!
Share a meal and drink
Restaurants often give so much food that you need a box to take home. And let’s face it, you probably want to lose some poundage.
Ask the waitress to split the meal in half and share it.
Walk the park/beach
Walking has been proven time and time again to be beneficial for relationships and bodies.
Build up your local community and your relationship by helping others. Who knows, you may discover a passion with your spouse.
Make the ordinary, extraordinary (buy 4 bean burritos, place in basket, go to park)
Take the leftovers from last night. Package then with gourmet utensils, parsley, and folded napkins. Go to a quiet hill in the country side and enjoy some time alone
create a scanvanger hunt
Go Garage Saling 😀
Street fair, farmer’s market, art walk
Local Band Events
Local Library Class
Rent a movie at the Library
Hulu has some Free Movies
Order Little Ceasar’s and watch your wedding video
Become a one-night Mousseuse
Schedule a snuggle date
Real Estate Shopping
Change can so easily cause fear. Fear wants you to love consistency. Consistency hates the possibility of failure. I think most of us have been conditioned to hate failure, instead of embracing it, like change, like uncertainty.
When I embrace change, I know that failure is a possibility. But there are so many examples of great failures that lead to amazing successes.
It’s importmant to haggle
Mastermind secrets revealed!
In this post I want to share what actually goes on in my mastermind group. I share this with the hope that you will be convinced about how beneficial mastermind groups can be.
We meet weekly at 9PM on Monday. Our group gathers online using Google Hangout.
At 9PM we do the typical chit-chat. However, I really like to push the group to dive right in 🙂
We share personal wins that happened for us during the week. Usually, the one who shares the most is the person who was in the “hot seat” during the previous week. I believe it’s because the “hot seat” lights a fire within the soul, as you will soon read about.
While we are sharing our personal victories with each other, we often learn how to apply the wins of others to our own businesses.
Around 9:20PM we begin the “hot seat”. One individual talks the group through their business. Usually the entrepreneur in the “hot seat” shares his or her challenges. It’s an open discussion and questions fly back and forth.
The “hot seat” is the highlight of the show. Other members share their constructive criticism. You literally get to see the “A-HA” moment in their eyes.
One thought of criticism pops up every meeting. It goes something like this, “You are spending money to do X. Why don’t you try to get someone to do it for you for free or cheaper?”
There are an infinite number of students who will do the job of a paid employee for free, just for the experience. Yes, it’s true. There are students in college right now who look at job applications online that read, “Desired 3 years minimum experience.” Students need experience. So many of us have reached out to colleges in our area to find students who are willing to do the work for free.
We continually come back to the concept of “Do it cheaper.”
9:40PM – Who can help (member) with their problem?
This is the secret to a rockin’ mastermind group. Every entrepreneur has challenges. Sadly, they face them alone. In a mastermind group, each member is dedicated to the success of others.
Someone from the group will volunteer to help the “hot seat” member. This is how a group grows. Not only their business, but their dedication to one another.
9:50PM – State the “Hot Seat” Member’s Goal for next week.
The “hot seat” member will create an actionable goal for the next meeting.
10PM – Chit-Chat and end the call.
Are you a part of a mastermind group? What benefits have you seen in your life or business?